Showing posts with label Attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Attitude. Show all posts

Thursday, August 21, 2014

The Toy Rapture: How I Waged War on Ingratitude Among my Little Tribe Today



This morning I whispered a prayer, “Lord, please help me to be patient with my children.  I don’t want to parent out of anger but out of love—all day.”  Today was the day—I was going to lean into God.
The war began at breakfast (of course).  Not a war against my children but the one for their hearts.  The bacon wasn’t crispy enough, she complained.  The ice in her juice hurt her teeth.  There were no “thank yous,” no “pleases.”  Demands smacked hard.  When I would normally sling biting tones back about being grateful, today I just whispered my prayers.  The Lord is so gracious to give wisdom when we ask for it. 
 
As my girls ate (or didn’t eat) their breakfast, I walked back to my girls’ bedroom and started to pack up dolls, doll furniture, play kitchen stuff…what felt like nearly every toy that China or Wal-Mart has to offer…and quietly carried the boxes to the attic. 
Then the pleas of my eldest began, “What are you doing?  Why are you doing this?” 
“I will explain it to you in a few minutes.”

I really wanted to rattle off the facts--how privileged they are, that they are in less than five percent of the world’s population of children who have this kind of stuff, this kind of food, this life of ridiculous lagniappe, that there are starving children in the two-thirds world who would love to trade places with them.  But I held all that in.  None of that would resonate with little round faces who just had almost all of their possessions hauled off. 

So I took a deep breath and for once in my life didn’t say anything sarcastic.

I just sat Indian style on the floor of the big empty bedroom and said, “This morning I realized that I’ve messed up.”  I recounted their words to me at breakfast and then quietly said, “I want you to learn to be thankful, and the one who is supposed to teach you that is me.  I haven’t done that great of a job, so this is just a little project we’re going to try for at least a week to see if it helps you to appreciate what you have, to take care of your stuff, and to say “please” and “thank you” to your mama and folks who do things for you.”

To my amazement, there’s been no weeping and gnashing of teeth since our “Come to Jesus” meeting.  Instead, we’ve walked around a little more light-hearted today.  We took our “read-aloud” book outside and sat on the quilt in the shade this morning.  They played with the grass, made a card out of grass and construction paper and put it in the mailbox.  They found that an empty toy box has all sorts of fun uses, like climbing in it for a boat.  And some long lost toys that didn’t get snatched up in the toy rapture were rediscovered.  
 
The conversation has been hilarious:  “Mama, I like this little thing we’re doing.  I don’t have to pick up so much.”  “Hey, when company comes, we can just pick up our two things and have it all looking good.”  “Mama, thanks for cleaning all the furniture out of this doll house; I’ve been needing to dust it!”  “You know what?  We have so much more time without all the stuff!”  …and that from the mouth of a five-year-old.
Time.  That illusive thing that we crave while it slips through our fingers.  If I’m not careful, my time with them will be gone before I’ve had a chance to teach them all these things I’m dying for them to understand.  If I waste it, chances are they will just grow into entitled adults—just larger versions of the five-year-old who complains about her hot breakfast.  I’ve seen an adult like that a few times…in the mirror, and it’s a war for her heart too.

Monday, October 21, 2013

A Renewed Mind, Part 2



          The combined effect of Jesus and children has really messed up my life!  I like order and clarity.  I used to have a bit of that.  I remember a time not so long ago when I would put things where they go, and they would actually stay there until I moved them again.  I remember a time when my body would actually stay asleep past 5:30 a.m., when I would start doing something and actually finish it, when I would spend uninterrupted hours on the same task, when I would string together lots of little intellectual thoughts for seminary papers and churn out those papers one right after the other. 
            I’m thankful for that season . . . that spring season, planting time, when God turned over the soil of my life and used that season to prepare me for the next.  He’s so good like that.  Always going before us, forming us, preparing us.  Spring prepares for summer.  Summer prepares for fall. 
            It was in that season that He gently showed me that I had been “content” (complacent) with my version of Christianity.  I had been content with the idea of lots and lots of pockets of luxury—the primary luxury being “free” time—“my” time that I could “control.”  Jesus shifted my paradigm—my grid for my life.  He did it gradually.  He did it instantly.  He still does it.  I’m so thankful that he “messes up” my life. 
            He showed me my desperate need for Him all day every day.  He showed me that my “old Christianity” only works in a vacuum where there are no demands on my life.  He loved me too much to let me stay there, and he brought me to a new season, a place where my rough edges can be smoothed by the sandpaper of little people who live with me all the time and big people too who don’t think just like I do.  He gives me a place to get stretched, bothered, misunderstood, and overwhelmed in a good kind of way.  It’s a way that slowly looks more like the Kingdom of God than the kingdom of self.
            I’ve been reading the gospel of Mark, and I love how it does something to me every time I read it.  In Mark 2 (and all over the gospels) Jesus messes with the religious folks’ thinking too.  He forgives sins, calls a tax collector, invites the scum of the earth to eat with him, doesn’t fast like “they” think he should, harvests on the Sabbath.  It’s a paradigm shift of gigantic proportions.
            It got me thinking . . . is what I think is good and righteous truly the way of the cross, the way of Jesus, or is it fraudulent self-righteousness instead?  In short, where am I the Pharisee who has tragically, sadly missed Him?  “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves” (2 Cor. 13:5 NIV).
            You don’t have to have children or a husband to have this good kind of messed up life, but you must have Jesus.  You must make room for the Savior to come in and shift your paradigm and move you to the next season.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

The Times I Mess Up the Most (sin against them the most, to put it bluntly)



     It’s always when I’m in a hurry.  Hurry to get them up, fed, teeth brushed, clothes on, bathroom visited, out the door . . . out the door with the diaper bag, lunch box, her back pack, my back pack, ballet clothes . . AGGGHHH!  Did I mention that I get up really early, and yes, I know all that about putting your stuff by the door the night before, yet something always seems to come up right at the last minute with little ones! 
Hurry to get to church, to school, to bed, through the store, through the next thing so that we can get to the thing after that that has to be done before that other thing can be done!  My hurry and my flesh collide and spill my sin all over my children.  It’s an ugly picture of loud huffs, little grace, and later…regrets.

     I don’t remember who said it (maybe it was a seminary professor or maybe it was in a book), but “they” said, “Hurrying is the way of the amateur.”  Then, I am definitely in the little league.

     So here’s how I’m working on this one:

  1. Yes, by preparing what can be prepared (but that is very little sometimes)
  2. Yes, by eliminating superfluous activity for which I don’t have time in this season of my life
Those are the easy two.  Here are the more subtle, challenging ones:

  1. By accepting that I’m going to have to disappoint others sometimes (whether it be my children because they have to give up a toy or certain pair of shoes they are demanding or whether it be the people/person to whom I’m in a hurry to reach)
  2. by making it my goal to please God in the midst of the tasks and hurry
  3. by remembering that my attitude is more important to God than my accomplishments, punctuality, or appearance (of myself, my children, my house, my messy car!)  “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength” Prov. 17:22 NLT).

     God wants my children to see Himself through me.  I forget this, but thankfully God and I meet on the front porch again in the morning, start over, and He fills me afresh and graciously gives me another chance to do it differently.


Where does my help come from?  
My help comes from the Lord,  
the Maker of heaven and earth.

. . . He will watch over your life;
 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
 both now and forevermore.

(Psalm 121:1b-2, 7b-8 NIV)