The Times I Mess Up the Most (sin against them the most, to put it bluntly)

     It’s always when I’m in a hurry.  Hurry to get them up, fed, teeth brushed, clothes on, bathroom visited, out the door . . . out the door with the diaper bag, lunch box, her back pack, my back pack, ballet clothes . . AGGGHHH!  Did I mention that I get up really early, and yes, I know all that about putting your stuff by the door the night before, yet something always seems to come up right at the last minute with little ones! 

Hurry to get to church, to school, to bed, through the store, through the next thing so that we can get to the thing after that that has to be done before that other thing can be done!  My hurry and my flesh collide and spill my sin all over my children.  It’s an ugly picture of loud huffs, little grace, and later…regrets.

     I don’t remember who said it (maybe it was a seminary professor or maybe it was in a book), but “they” said, “Hurrying is the way of the amateur.”  Then, I am definitely in the little league.

     So here’s how I’m working on this one:

1. Yes, by preparing what can be prepared (but that is very little sometimes)
2. Yes, by eliminating superfluous activity for which I don’t have time in this season of my life

Those are the easy two.  Here are the more subtle, challenging ones:

3. By accepting that I’m going to have to disappoint others sometimes (whether it be my children because they have to give up a toy or certain pair of shoes they are demanding or whether it be the people/person to whom I’m in a hurry to reach)
4. by making it my goal to please God in the midst of the tasks and hurry
5. by remembering that my attitude is more important to God than my accomplishments, punctuality, or appearance (of myself, my children, my house, my messy car!)  “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength” Prov. 17:22 NLT).

     God wants my children to see Himself through me.  I forget this, but thankfully God and I meet on the front porch again in the morning, start over, and He fills me afresh and graciously gives me another chance to do it differently.

Where does my help come from?  
My help comes from the Lord,  
the Maker of heaven and earth.

. . . He will watch over your life;
 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
 both now and forevermore.

(Psalm 121:1b-2, 7b-8 NIV)

How do you set aside the time for meeting with God?

     Several dear friends have asked me this same question lately.  They are asking me, in particular, because they know that I am “in the trenches” with them.  With two little ones clinging to me (both literally and figuratively), dependent on me for nearly every thing most waking hours of the day, there is precious little quiet in my days.  Instead, we spend loads of time getting on the potty, off the potty (potty training is a necessary evil!), and making and cleaning up messes in the kitchen, in the living room, in the bedrooms, in the bathrooms, and of course, in the car!  You catch my drift . . . I can’t tell a toddler and preschooler to run entertain themselves for hours while I meet with the Lord.

Instead, here are three things I attempt daily:

1. Get up early.  If you knew the incarnate Jesus were sitting on your back porch at 5:30 a.m., would you get up and go see him?  Ok, so the incarnate Jesus isn’t on my back porch, but the same Jesus is on my porch through His Spirit.  I am weak and utterly dependent on Him.  I recognize this, so I get up and meet with him before the children get up.  I learned this habit from two good folks:     
1. Jesus:  “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed” (Mark 1:35 NIV).  If God the Son needed it, words can’t express my need for it.  
2.  Mama:  Growing up Mama got up before we did to pray and read the Word.  Children tend to live what their parents live more than what their parents say.  (Disclaimer:  I know there are those seasons in life when this getting up early is nearly impossible.  I’ve nursed two babies who didn’t sleep through the night, and I’m about to be in that season again in which I will not necessarily set an alarm (who needs one with an infant?!) but will meet with God in whatever watches of the night baby wakes me!  I also know some folks can find some other particular time in the day, but this is just what works best for me.  At night, I'm tired, can't think straight, and usually fall asleep.)
2. Set my heart on a Person.  The Person is Jesus.  I say “Person” to contrast with “task.”  This is the hardest one for me.  Jesus has to be the Lord, the Master of my to-do list.  He enables me to keep perspective on what’s worth getting my feathers ruffled over and what’s not.  (By the way, most things are not, I know, but “slow-learner” I am.)  “Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand.  Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.  For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col 3:1-3 NLT).  He helps me to see people and tasks with His eyes.  When I allow Him to do this for me, every thing—every. single. thing.—gets a lot easier.  “For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light” (Mat. 11:30).
3. Pray A LOT.  I pray silently and out loud with whomever I'm present everyday.  Most days this would be my children.  For practical example, I was about to blow a gasket over the rotten mood that one of them was in a couple of days ago, so the three of us prayed for her right then.  (The honesty in their prayers is refreshing.)  I’m modeling for them to turn to God when we need help as well as when we want to thank Him (trying to model it, anyway); as a result, they pray out loud several times a day.  If you have children, try this!  God moves mountains in prayer . . . and sometimes we are the mountain.

     After writing this, I wrote another piece on “the times I mess up the most,” which goes along with this post, so I’ll hopefully have that for you next.  If you are beginning to try these three things listed above or want some accountability, email me and let me know.  I’ll be praying for you, sister!

How do I know that I know that God hears my prayers?

     I write them down - my prayers - tucked in the back of a little spiral-bound notebook, my left-handed penmanship barely legible, but God knows.  On Tuesday I scribbled out a prayer for God to teach me how to be a better encourager, more intentional in my conversations with people.  (See 1 Thes. 5:11.) Two hours later He planted me on a couch in a little room next to a British woman born in 1915.  Her age and sharp mind (while impressive) were not nearly as impressive as her zeal and heart for Jesus and for people to know Him, to experience His power and presence today.  Her words for others, her life for Jesus . . . all day, every day, day in, day out, year in, year out.  Today I pray that if I'm here in 2080, I will do the same.     
     On Tuesday night I pray that God will break the sin that entangles a teenage girl's life, and on Wednesday morning, God in His goodness allows me to see His power--the girl-captive set free through the cross of Christ.
     How do I know that I know that God hears my prayers?
He gives me eyes to see and ears to hear.  Not because of anything I've done to deserve His answering but simply because He is good. 

"The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him" (Lam. 3:25).

     Last Saturday on the living room floor of my childhood home I comb through old photographs and spiral-bound notebooks--finding pages and pages of prayers of a little seventeen-year-old girl.  Before tossing those pages in the trash, I smile, "I know that I know that God hears my prayers.  He has answered every one."  Over and over in that little notebook, tucked away for over fourteen years, I had scribbled at the end of nearly every prayer, "Fill my cup, Lord."  He answered, "Your cup will overflow, beloved."  And it does. 

"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you" (James 4:8 ESV).

"You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.  Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life . . ." (Psalm 23:5b-6a NIV).